And he said: “You are not that special”

shiva_shakti

She uncoiled.
I began to shake uncontrollably in her raw power,
as waves of Ecstasy rolled through my body.

I had never known a feeling like this before.

I felt myself embarrassed and turned away,
Ashamed, unable to surrender to the dance,
So I suppressed myself, as I had done all my life.
But this time, Shakti’s power overtook me
and so I shook,
with my face,
turned away.

I felt Shiva’s piercing gaze,
The invitation to Unite
I saw the Beautiful Garden,
the ecstatic dancers making love.
And I thought this would be enough . . .
To simply watch
and fill up on this beauty.

Could watching, feed my soul alone?

Then I saw I was afraid.
I didn’t know how to cross the threshold.
I didn’t know how to take what I most desired.

The truth was:

I didn’t know how to BE SEEN ~ delighting
in the pleasure & ecstasy of my true nature.

And then I heard Shiva say to me:
“You are not that special”

These words pierced my Being.

I saw the wound of Separation,
when I turned my back on Ecstasy,
choosing the Oath of Suffering,
carrying burdens on the back of my Old Soul.

                Do you see me holding up the world?
Does that make me Special now?

Bittersweet tears fell across my cheeks.
I saw that no one would take my hand and lead
me across Union’s threshold.

The burden of Separation or the ecstasy of Freedom
~ a choice and nothing more.

So I laid down suffering at my feet.
Feeling the black burn around my neck,
Shakti’s power hanged, from worlds so long ago.

Surrendering everything

I laid down suffering at my feet.
Chains of self restraint purged, from worlds so long ago.

If I am not that special
I do not need to perform for you

If I am not that special
You need nothing from me

If I am not that special
I do not need to please you

If I am not that special
    Shakti can BE Shakti
    Shiva can BE Shiva

and I am FREE
and we are ONE.

 

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